Randomness is Bliss

[nucky]

twenty-first of december

My name is Nucky and
When I close my eyes, I live in a world where I feel very much alone.
I rock back and forth in this rocking chair that my Great-Grandpa built.
Sometimes, I'm afraid that I'll fall into a large and terrible abyss—never to be seen again.

But sometimes, I think, I wish for it to come.

To fall forever...
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
The wind will rush and blow my hair straight out and I will see nothing but blur.
My eyes will strain against the velocity and what I will see will be only the things worth seeing.
And I will love it.

The rush of power all around me makes me feel small and insignificant, as if I could just disappear forever. But, I feel all important! In a sea of nothingness, who but the greatest can live and truly enjoy it? And so, I speed into forever and I enjoy it with all my heart. This is where I belong! This!

And then, I open my eyes. I stare a hole through the wall. It was only another transparent daydream. Though I was not falling into forever... I still knew what it felt like.

And that's all that matters.

[cynder]

Huh. Very interesting.

[nucky]

twenty-second of december

There is already great contemplation of what it means to have infinity outside of you.
In outer space, it’s supposed to go on and on.

I sit on my cut log as if it is a chair
and I ponder if we can have infinity
reside inside us as well.

This infinity would definitely not be the infinity where we can look at it and decide that
“Yup! It definitely goes on forever!”
This infinity would be one that will look like a finity. They will be looking at this finity and they will ask: how can inside of something be bigger than outside of something? And I say, not so! The infinity inside of us, and hidden by the apparent finity of being inside of ourselves, is quite hidden. It is a great emptiness, a vast void, more so than the outside universe so that within ourselves is a universe all on its own—immense without reserve. And so, our humanity weighs in as nothing more than a sliver’s sliver between in-infinity and out-infinity.