Stuck in a Story

[nucky]

Okay, I wrote a story, but it ain't done... I'm sorta stuck right now.

((I know it sounds a teensy bit cliché))

• told from 1st person from main character, Caelo
• about her and her father, Latrans/Lawrence
• a bit of a fantasy tale, I guess.

ANYWAYS, here's what I have so far in the story:

1. Intro to town & Caelo
This is mostly about who Caelo is and it briefly shows her personality as well as what she thinks of her father who left the family (her and her mom) when she was a very young child. Also, about the town, which is in the desert.

2. Caelo goes to church
Introduces Caelo's mother Rosalyn and also reveals how undying her mother's love is for Lawrence. The coyote cries and it rains.

3. Caelo goes home
Caelo feels uncomfortable in the cold rain. She notices that her foods are stolen.

4. Caelo goes to the grocery store
Because her food is stolen and eaten by some unknown person/thing/whatever, she goes grocery shopping!

5. Caelo meets Latrans
She meets a young man named Latrans with a limp who knows too much about her and her mom. He looks a lot like her and when she asks if he is a relative of hers, he says yes.

6. Caelo takes him home
Caelo felt such pity for the hobbling man that she takes him to the car. A passing comment from the mysterious Latrans has him state that he broke his leg himself and even let it heal wrong so that it would look 'dramatically twisted.'

7. Latrans breaks his leg... again.
Latrans breaks his leg to fix it. He prevents Caelo from calling the doctor and tells her to get a splint. Then, he admits that it was he who had been stealing her food and the reason he did so was so that she could meet him at the grocery market and he could finally meet her.

What should happen next?
I'm stuck.

[cynder]

Um...it's interesting at that. But I'd wait for the editors XD

[nucky]

^_^ I'll wait. I have pages of what ifs, but none of them fit what I was going for.

Y'see. I had one where she and Latrans goes to the mother's house and by her mother's recognizing him, Latrans gets discovered to be Lawrence—her father. She was angry and chased him away, leaving her mother to cry and realizing that Latrans was right, it was her fault that her mother was sad and not his fault. She started crying too at this realization. And I ended the story there, but didn't like it because I was curious about Latrans and wanted Caelo to find out more about her father before chasing him out.

I also had a different scenario where Latrans wakes her up because he's sad. Apparently, he heard Caelo saying that she hates him in her sleep. She doesn't talk in her sleep, she's sure of it. Instead, she growls and when Latrans realizes this, he becomes excited. He tells her that she inherited more of the desert than he ever thought. She gets angry and they go for a walk together because Latrans promises to give her some explanation. Caelo realizes that he's full healed and is upset by it. She's confused. Latrans just shrugs it off and passes it as nothing. He doesn't answer her questions really, but instead raises new ones.

Third scenario. Caelo wakes up and finds Latrans is gone. She thinks that she just imagined him, but goes to her mother's house to make sure she's safe. No Latrans. BUT her mother has a small glass coyote figurine and it's lying down—her mother says that Lawrence would leave them for her when he was coming home soon. Caelo is angry about that, but is a bit intrigued about the similarities between Latrans and Lawrence. She asks about her father and her mother is eager to tell her.

[fluffy]

I really like both the second and the third, but I agree with you about the first, not too much plot XD

[nucky]

Thanks ^_^ The only reason I liked the first one and was considering it was because it made the story done.

I thought the second one introduced too much too fast.
The third one seems plot-holey to me.

Ahhhh... I wish I was better at deciding things... ^_^

[fluffy]

If you think that the sedond goes to fast and the third is kinda messed up then just take elements from both Ideas and mix them together for example....

Caelo wakes up to find that Latrans is gone but she finds a note near by scrawled in elegant yet hurried hand writing. It takes her a moment to wake up enough to really read it but when she does it says this, "Dear Caelo, You have more of the desert in you then I thought and I'm sorry you hate me. Trust the Coyotes. ~Latrans." Caelo is confused by the note and that makes her angry but she decides to check on her mother before trying to find Latrans to demand some answers. When she gets back to her mother's house though her mother is saftly asleep in her bed, a resting glass coyote laying near her face, looking out at Caelo as if it were protecting her mother. 'Trust the coyotes.' What was this all suposed to mean?! Caelo ground her teeth and in fustration, anger, and confusion, a exhasperated growl waking her mother. Her mother is glad she is home and gets up to hug her causing the glass coyote to fall to the ground and shatter. Her mother only then notices it and when she does she is really upset that it broke and tries to pick up all the pieces. Caelo asks her mother why she cares so much about a glass coyote and her mother tells her that her father used to leave them for her when he was coming home soon, so sometimes she would pull and old one out and sleep with it on her pillow hoping he would come home. She seemed a little puzzled though, saying she didn't remember pulling out one of them last night. Caelo is suspicious of the similarities between Latran's note, her mother's figurines, and just the plain out similarities between latrans and her father, Lawrence. Her suspicions though led her to curiosity and so she asked her mother to tell her about her father, which she does, holding the shards of glass to her chest and looking down at them with a blurred vision of remembering.


Just an example, you should do it however you think it should be, I don't know much about your story so I probably did a really bad job with that XD

[nucky]

^_^ That sounds good!

Oh, I have written a bunch of random snippets as well in the story, like when Latrans licks her face and notices that her tears are freshwater. Anyways, the point of the story is that Latrans is some sort of deity coyote thingy and he's struggling with his love of Caelo and her mother and his duties.

I also have the bridge part where Caelo meets up with her father after piecing together the history of his life from the times before and the times now.

And she does cool stuff like use a bit more of her 'inheritance' and little by little she discovers that she could replace Latrans and let her mother have her happiness with Latrans. And the story will end with Caelo crying as a coyote and it rains. But it is a warm rain and her cry was an understanding happiness ^_^

Yeah... LOL, I know it sounds screwy, but I'll make it work!

[fluffy]

It doesn't sound screwy it sounds very sweet ^^